Dear friend,
I'm sitting down to write to you today with a mix of emotions - sadness, gratitude, fear, shame, disappointment, anger and hope. It's been a tough year, and I've been struggling to keep up with my promise to send you letters. Most of the time, I just write them and schedule.
I lost a loved one in November 2024. For many reasons I want to honor him and our relationship by writing how I feel in hopes that it helps me process my emotions.
Losing my dad last year was one of the hardest experiences I've ever had to face. He was more than just a father to me; he was my rock, my confidant, and my biggest supporter. I felt seen, safe and heard around him. His passing left a gaping hole in my life, and I've been navigating the complex emotions that come with grief.
One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with is the fact that my dad and I weren't on speaking terms when he passed away. I was hurt and angry for something he did and didn’t do and I didn't know how to process my emotions in a healthy way so I put up a wall. Looking back, I wish I had reached out to him, but I'm trying not to beat myself up over it.
Grief is a journey, and it's one that I'm still on. Some days are harder than others, but I'm learning to be patient and kind to myself. I even started therapy in hope that it would help me navigate my emotions better. I'm constantly reminding myself that it's okay to not be okay, and that it's okay to take things one day at a time.
As I navigate this new chapter of my life, I want to encourage you to do the same. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't be afraid to show up as your authentic self. Ask for help when you need it!!
If you'd like to offer some words of encouragement or support, I'd love to hear from you. Your kindness and compassion mean the world to me. I'm grateful for your love and support.
Thank you for being part of my journey.
Love and light 💚
Khadijah